“I’m so anxious” is bounded around as a colloquial phrase for what some people actually mean is: “Work’ is a bit stressful” or “something is worrying me.”
It’s not a competition, far from it, but I do struggle with the dilution and over-use of mental illness terms for real-life feelings and experiences.
At the moment I am suffering a bad bout of anxiety and it is so utterly painful that even I (who has suffered with mental health problems since childhood) am shocked by it. I often forget in my good waves just how poorly I can get.
This isn’t a “woe me” post but I do feel it’s important to explain how feeling anxious can actually impact someone’s life.
Last week, I had a birthday trip to Warwick planned and there I was in the middle of Warwick Castle frozen with anxiety. I could barely speak with strong palpitations. I managed to have a wander around as my husband Chris persuaded me not to retreat back to the hotel. But whilst immersed in this beautiful historical world, I was trapped inside my own head.
Oh how pictures don’t tell a thousand words…
I have kept plodding on since and trying to exercise as I know that really helps. And the kids are a good distraction (we escaped for a night in a caravan with them) but Anxiety follows me wherever I go, whatever I do. I break through some of the cycles with distraction techniques but inevitably it is still there.
Today the sun is shining however, but yesterday Anxiety got the better of me.
But hey here is a week in my life – a rollercoaster!